HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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