8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I skipped work to stalk him.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
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I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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