And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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