we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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