M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize