I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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