i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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