dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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