dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize