Plan B is the new Plan A
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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