it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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