Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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