Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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