i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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