We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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