Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize