Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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