dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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