I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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