if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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