i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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