If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
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Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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