I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize