Cold hands, warm shart.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize