i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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