K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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