If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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