Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize