plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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