so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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