Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize