He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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