Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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