Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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