yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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