Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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