Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
how does that bad decision feel?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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