i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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