im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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