Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize