Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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