My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize