We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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