You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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