Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize