so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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