New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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