Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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