i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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