to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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